gay magazine salt lake city

Throughout my life I’ve met people I’m compatible with and people with whom I am not. It’s been easy to talk about how I get when someone breaks my heart, “life is meaningless,” “he walked all over me,” “my heart is a crystal vessel and has been shattered.” But after I date a guy and realize I’m not interested on him “because he is not my type,” “he is still immature,” “it’s such a pain to be with a newbie,” “doesn’t make enough money” or “I would never date a closeted gay!” I am likely breaking someone else’s heart as well, leaving him in deep sadness.

I love thinking about my ideal man should be, he should be tall, rich, with a nice car, ripped, and he needs to take me on many trips around the world, of course. He also needs to be sweet, responsible, and a hard-worker; it goes without saying that he needs to get along with my friends and my family. I’ve been able to meet a couple of guys who matched that profile almost completely, but in the end they leave me and break my heart, because although we’ve gone out twice, I was already thinking about my dream-wedding and the honey moon in Hawaii. My heart is crushed and I feel how it crumbles into tiny bits, all I want to do is cry and eat chocolate on bed, I feel so unfortunate, no one can understand my pain, how can other guys get over this, or worse, and move on and live their lives?

I’ve read the ills of our times are stress, depression, and loneliness. I usually don’t care about those headlines and read something else, but now that I think about it I realize it’s true, and I imagine it’s our own fault. Just as that guy whose name “we don’t say” left a big void in me and to get over him I spend my time on solitary walks around the city, I also am someone whose name “we don’t say” for someone else. I did the same to another guy, and in this way we make a vicious circle.

I think watching so many novelas sometimes makes me feel a little guilty for wanting to find a love so grand that nothing can compare to it…. but to be honest, it would also be a pain in the ass! Don’t you think? I guess I should give a chance to that guy who’s asked me out so many times, after all, the worse we could do is give each other a broken heart. Who knows, maybe I’ll find in him the love of my life.